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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Thoughts on the Eve of Christmas Eve

As a child living in Germany, one of my favorite priests, Father Ed was always reminding us to live for today as tomorrow isn't promised and not to sweat the small things and everything can be broken up into smaller things. He loved to remind us that the self imposed stress surrounding Christmas cards was crazy. He would say Christmas cards are just that, Christmas cards. If they arrive before December 25th, they don't change the name and call them Advent cards. They were originally intended to arrive to bring cheer and good news during the 12 days of Christmas. Yeah, 1 less thing to stress about today at least. I wish I was more on top of things like many of my friends but as they still are not done, I will resolve to be more on top of it in 2011. 


This time of year my mind begins to think about the people I miss, friends and relatives who have passed away or that I have lost touch with. I have lost touch with many people I that I used to consider so important to me over the course of the last few years. I know that true friends come in and out of your life and even after long periods of not seeing or speaking with each other, you can pick up where you left off as if time had just stood still. Losing some others was completely unintentional, getting lost in the hustle and bustle of each other's day to day or possibly alienating them for reasons unknown to me or that I'm unaware. Some were probably for the best but regardless, many times life is truly what happens when we're making other plans. 


Makes me think of the lyrics to "In My Life", a favorite among my ZTA sisters in college with some slight tweaks to the lyrics. I also have various Christmas songs on rotation in my brain lately such as 'All I want for Christmas is a Real good tan', " I want a hippopotamus for Christmas', 'A Baby Changes Everything', 'Hard-Candy Christmas' in addition to various Christmas standards Wham's 'Last Christmas' but this seems to be in heavy rotation too.


In My Life - Bette Midler


There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed.
Some forever, not for better.
And some have gone, and some remain.

All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can’t recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I love them all.

But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compares with you.
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.

Though I know I’ll never ever lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I’ll often stop and think about them.
In my life I love you more.

Though I know I’ll never ever lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I’ll often stop and think of them.
But in my life I loved you more.
I love you more.
I love you more



Regardless I needed the reminder I received this morning. I've collected stories, cards, poems, images and various other "inspirations" for many years. I think I always seem to find them to make me think and receive a good "cosmic" nudge in the right direction now and again. This mornings nudge was in the form of an old card I found that my Grandpa Harry Raihl had sent me. My grandpa was not the subtle, sugar-coating type which is one of the many reasons we affectionately called him "Bear". Even though he joined my grandmother in heaven in June 2005, I think of him often and that he likes to give me a good kick in the pants now and again.


Bear loved the tazmanian devil as it was the perfect caricature of himself, symbols for curse words and all. He was an avid movie buff and collector of the  titles in the bargain bin. He especially loved those involving John Wayne, Westerns, and old war documentaries relating to his years of service in the military. As he retired in Las Cruces, he also loved the Southwest lifestyle?including growing his own Chile's in his garden, kokopellis, and the cowboy way of life. The front of the card had a poem by one of his favorite Cowboy poets, Baxter Black, which has always been one of my favorites. It's a good reminder of how to treat those you chose to be your friends.


Take Care Of Your Friends - Baxter Black

Friend is a word that I don't throw around
Though it's used and abused, I still like the sound.
I save it for people who've done right by me
And I know I can count on, if ever need be.

Some of my friends drive big limousines
Own ranches and banks and visit with queens,
And some of my friends are up to their neck
In overdue notes and can't write a check.

They're singers or ropers or writers of prose
And others, God bless 'em, can't blow their own nose!
I guess being friends don't have nothing' to do
With talent or money or knowing who's who.

It's a comfortable feeling when you don't have to care,
'Bout choosing your words or being quite fair.
'Cause friends'll just listen and let go on by
Those words you don't mean and not bat an eye.

It makes a friend happy to see your success.

And that ain't so easy, all of the time,
Sometimes I get crazy and seem to go blind!

Your friend just might have to take you on home,
Or remind you sometime, that you're not alone.
Or ever so gently pull you back to the ground,
When you think you can fly, with no one around.

A hug or a shake, whichever seems right
Is the high point of giving, I'll tell you tonight,
All worldly riches and tributes of men,
Can't hold a candle to the worth of a friend. 



I value my family and my friends more than I hope they know. I know I've been horrible lately about keeping in touch and showing my appreciation to those who know me well enough to call and check on me because a text message or a FB post doesn't sound right. Those who forgive my nerves, fumbling all over myself and making crappy jokes to cut the tension of a situation. They also know that birthdays are a big deal and must require acknowledgement from me in some way shape or form. Lastly I hope they realize that I have been working the last few years on more consciously making "notes" of likes, dislikes, and major events as to me, part of friendship means remembering or acknowledging the little things such as you prefer peanut M&Ms to plain or hate with a passion all orange vegetables. 


I realize that I'm I have a wealth of useless Entertainment and other various trivia locked in my brain, that likes to come out at various random times, not just during Trivial Pursuit. But I do also make a point to remember other stuff too. I used to have 'Life's Little Instructions' hanging on my wall for many years and one of the "instructions" was that everyone wants to be acknowledged and know that they are being heard. I have found it's the little day to day preferences that are the most surprising and appreciated. There were a lot of good ones on there including that everyone deserves a birthday cake. Why you may ask? Because a birthday is simply a person's one special day of the year that celebrates the fact that they were born and exist. Simple yet powerful enough huh?


The following is another poem a friend sent me years ago that seems to go with the theme of today's thought process. 


Around the Corner - Henson Towne


Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end, 
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, 
And before you know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine if,
we were younger then, 
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say "I will call on Jim"
"Just to show that I'm thinking of  him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes, 
And the distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner! - yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir"
"Jim died today"
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.


Remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell them. 
Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. 
Because when you decide that it is the right time, it might be too late. 
Carpe Diem, Seize the day! Never have regrets, learn from everything.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they
have helped make you the person that you are today.


Pass this along to your friends. It could make a difference. The difference
between doing all that you can or having regrets which may stay with you forever. 


I hope everyone has the very Merriest of Christmas', Happiest and safest of holiday seasons. Take care and looking forward to a New Year - PK

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Sean's Big Day and is it really almost Christmas

Sean has a large multi-doctor panel review tomorrow at the Denver V.A. hospital. I took the day off of work because his appointment is at 12:30 pm and that's my normal in time on Mondays. I knew that it would be better for Omee (my mom) and Uncle Sean to have a Mommy/daughter day with Miss Delaney than to have them both try to juggle her and possibly lose focus on his tests. I have no idea what all is involved but it just really hit me that tomorrow is a big day for him. It will be 2 years since his emergency open heart surgery and resulting hypoxic-anoxic brain injury on January 15th. I am so grateful, blessed, honored and thankful to everyone for their thoughts, prayers well wishesm distractions and events of joy you have shared with us that have helped us all get through this challenging time in our lives.

It's hard to believe that's really been almost 2 years. My parents have found out through our research that it's a general rule of thumb that with traumatic brain injuries, generally 2 years is the benchmark for progress and recovery. Anoxic brain injuries or those that are the result of a lack of oxygen to the brain are more unpredictable in their progress and recovery path. Sean began working with the V.A. at the end of October doing Speech therapy via video conference at the facility here in the Springs and meeting with a Physical therapist. From what I understand this multi-panel review will help determine where Sean is in his recovery and where we go from here.

Initially after he came home in May of 2009, he was receiving Occupational, Physical and Speech Therapy multiple times a week. When his approved visits were done for the year, I thought we were waiting for his insurance company to re-approve him for the remaining months of his Cobra coverage in 2010 but that never seemed to happen. Not that his insurance company didn't pay more than it's share for his emergency admittance, diagnostics, emergency open heart surgery, stay in the CCC at the Medical Center of Aurora, stay at Triumph, return to the CCC, additional surgery, and finally his stay at Spalding Rehabilitation Center before coming home in May of 2009. I don't believe my parents ever saw a bill for his Hospital stay and the Cardiac Critical Care Unit is not cheap by any means. I think we were told he was in the 5- figure a day cost bracket.

As a thank you to all the doctors, therapists, nurses and administrators that helped take care of Sean during his long 5 months, my parents and Sean hand delivered Edible arrangements to each department, office and care center. Even though Sean didn't necessarily remember all of them, they definitely remembered him. Sean's definitely never has been or probably ever will be your average patient. They all were touched by the gesture and happy to see him up and moving around instead of how he was when he was in their care. It's one thing to see the patient that you're taking care of and another to see them after they've been back in "the real world I guess.

So tomorrow is a big day for him and my parents. Delaney and I will be visiting with my best friend and goddaughter up in Firestone. It doesn't hardly seem like it's about to be Christmas in 6 days. Probably because of the lack of snow except a day here and there in Colorado Springs and abnormally warm temperatures aren't helping. Also we've been short staffed at work so I've been working LOTS of Overtime. Half the time I don't know what day it is. Tomorrow is basically my 1 day off this week and I have 1 day next week . Hopefully tomorrow will help put me back in the Holiday spirit. Cross my fingers, say some extra prayers for him and will keep you updated =S